by Matt Basso | January 2011

Bye Haters

As If it isn't tough enough to get out of our own way....We now, more than ever, Have to Avoid the haters.

I was inspired to write this post because of two incidences that recently occurred in my life. One was a direct conversation I had with a friend and the other was an observation I had regarding a facebook post. I guess because they happened so close together, the impact was great for me.

A few days ago a friend of mine made a critical decision. After much deliberation and analyzation he decided he was going to start his own business. Knowing that I've had my business for awhile he wanted to get together for dinner and discuss some basics....You know, to inc. or not to inc., lawyers, accounting, and some creative stuff too. Well...... we quickly moved through the technical stuff and then the conversation shifted to what I would call more of an emotional phase.

In my experience when a substantial change is imminent, as humans we go through some serious psychological S#!T. Whatever the change is regarding, whether it be job, fitness, relocation, etc doesn't matter.....What matters is that the switch went off, and the necessary action steps to move forward become more real than ever....It can get Very Overwhelming.

During this phase it is natural to look for support from the people closest to you....Family and Friends.

The Problem is that just because someone loves you (your parents, siblings, best friends) doesn't mean they are equipped to support you through all your endeavors..... Of course those that truly care for you will always want you to succeed, however they are limited in their ability to help you because of their own personal circumstances.

Back to the conversation:

My friend entered the emotional phase of the convo by explaining to me how he went to see his sister because they had a conversation on the phone about how maybe she could be involved in his new business. The meeting didn't go as HE EXPECTED it would.  His sister was not as excited about it as he was and she was distracted during the meeting by other things going on ( dog, boyfriend, wine) in her apartment. Needless to say he left disappointed and slightly stressed. To add to that conflict, he went on to tell me that when he spoke with his mother about his idea, she too wasn't as receptive as HE WOULD'VE LIKED.... Basically she was taking sides with social norm...get a job, punch in, and get a check...It's safer this way.

I see this stuff all the time....People allowing their ideas to be crushed by naysayers or people losing momentum in their plans because of failed alliances with those around them.

I promise I'm going to relate this to your fitness grin

But First, my next example... ( I feel it's an important example as it relates to those maybe not so close to you)
A musician aquaintance of mine posted an update on his facebook page the other day. The exact wording isn't important but it said something like.....

Download the single off my up coming EP, and if you don't like it then send it to your niece or nephew, they might. Thanks... and he linked it.

People started commenting slowly....Some simply said they liked it...but of course others need to chime in with what they would've done...."Put this sound in it", "use this instrument" blah blah blah

My take on this is simply that Opinions are like A$$holes...everyones got one.

I think it's great to put your intentions, work, ideas, art , etc out there. Just don't do it expecting to be supported by everyone. You have to Not Care about the outcome just do it and let nature take its course.

The internet allows ideas to flow at a ridiculous rate. Our networks have vastly multiplied as we become friends of friends. Things like email lists and text marketing allow people into our lives, whether we want them there or not. It's easy to feel like your idea doesn't have legs even before it has been released into the world. DON'T FALL VICTIM TO THE HATERS!

When you've made the decision to engage in a life style change....Let's say working out, Eating better, NOT Drinking alcohol...Even Bigger..You've made a decision to lose 50lbs or 100lbs....NO Maybe you've decided to get in the best shape of your life at 30 or 40....Whatever your big idea is Don't let the Haters around you convince you that it's not gonna work cause it's too difficult, or because you don't have the Discipline or the Energy, or the Money, or the Time..... IGNORE THE HATERS!

Surround yourself with those that can and want to support you. Don't let your goals be derailed by others who are just to weak or lazy to strive for something not easily attained. Have your GO TO Coach, book, friend, family member, song, or whatever so when you need to Counter the haters you know the support will be there to help.

Not everyone is going to be excited about the things that you do. Limit your expectations of others and have no preconceived notions about how people are going to react to your intentions or ideas. This way you won't be disappointed at the reaction you get.


Filed under: Lifestyle